A Field Guide to Cooking Nude

/ Thursday, February 2, 2012

I’ve fielded a number of questions from ladies recently, asking just how exposed one can be in the kitchen without fearing cuts and burns in their daintiest places. Great question! Hot oil spitting on your décolletage could ruin a potentially sultry cooking experience. How far you strip down really depends on your comfort level, in the kitchen and with your body, but there are some general guidelines I'd recommend sticking to...

Make: Baked recipes or no-cook items. 
For breakfast, ricotta drizzled with honey, 
cereal, quiche, blueberry muffins, biscuits or 
waffles (electric waffle irons are surprisingly 
body friendly). 
For lunch/dinner, salads, sandwiches, even 
macaroni & cheese—basically anything 
that doesn't require your naked noodle standing 
over a hot stove.
Wear: Nothing! (Maybe a little body lotion)

Make: Splatter resistant stove-cooked items. 
For breakfast, scrambled eggs, omelets, pancakes,
grits or oatmeal. 
For lunch/dinner, risotto, roast chicken, braised
dishes, pasta (but mind the pasta water)—recipes
that don't put you at risk of oil or sauce splashing
onto your hot bod.
Wear: Your favorite underwear! Steer away from
light colors, it's more difficult to wash stains
out of delicates.
Make: Any darn recipe you'd like! 
For breakfast, poached eggs, fried eggs, bacon,
homemade donuts, go for it!
For lunch/dinner, fried chicken, schnitzel,
stir-fry—the world's your oyster. Though, I would
suggest not grilling unless you have guaranteed
outdoor privacy.  
Wear: Your prettiest underpinnings but cover up
with an apron, something thick enough to protect
you from spills.

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