How-To: Roast A Pig In A Hurricane

/ Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Hurricane Irene could not thwart this brave band of pork-lovers from enjoying an outdoor pig roast. Well, it did prune the guest list a bit: out of the few dozen committed, only seven of us showed up at the farm on the big day. We're gutsy professionals, after all. On the flip side, more pig for us! After living through the storm (surprise, surprise) I feel compelled—as a survivor, obviously—to translate our experience into a practical guide to extreme pig roasting; a list of essentials when faced with rain, wind and/or tornado warnings. You will need:

I. A pig.

II. A fortress.

III. Burly men, preferably with crackerjack knife skills.

IV. Sides.

...kartoffelsalat (potato salad)

V. A full tank of beer.

VI. Another pig for dessert.
 With rainbow-sprinkle guts!

VII. A solid leftover strategy.
Like, pig tacos with adobo, salsa and queso. 

I guess this is what happens when bad weather happens to good people. It really was such a shame.



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